Artful Aphorisms

1. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
2. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
3. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
4. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
5. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
6. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
7. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
8. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
9. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
10. Half the people you know are below average.
11. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you!

*Warning--don't put too much thought into these. They are meant to lighten the mood!